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theZEBRA Lick Those Stripes! I Be Gallopin' After Ye The Herd Zebra Poo Black Stripes, White Stripes Songs of the Plains
Family Court One would be in less danger From the wiles of a stranger If one's own kin and kith Were more fun to be with. Ogden Nash | Tighty Wrightey Friday. 3.26.04 9:36 pm Ian Wright, the insane laugh-till-you-pee globe trekker is coming down here again! The last time he was down, I managed to meet him during a meet-the-fans session. Super duper. When it got to my turn, I launched myself at him and grabbed him. Think I gave him a bit of a shock. There he was expecting a nice placid say-hello-and-sign-an-autograph. Instead he got an awestruck rabid obsessed fan hanging onto him like a leech. Still, he’s as funny in real life as he is onscreen. When I mentioned (more like, blubbered) that I was in love with him, he simpered a bit and said, “Yes, I’m in love with me too.” Anyhoo, it got better. After going through the customary starstruck ohmygods, I half-playfully asked if we could exchange earrings, of which he had about eight or nine attached. And to my utter shock (and gleeful surprise), he actually said yes. I let him pick one of mine, during which I could feel my ears getting redder and redder. He then removed three of his, and plonked them into my hand, saying “You don’t want mine, they’re all crappy.” As if. Then, still standing there, we put each others’ earrings on. Christ, I was so thrilled, it’s a surprise I didn’t just stab myself a new hole by mistake. Wow. How much nicer could the guy get? After the session was all over and he was walking off, I ran up to him again. When the promo guys saw me, they got an ‘oh no’ look and one of them told me that if I wanted to talk to Wrightey again, I’d have to come back the next day. I must’ve looked really bummed cuz Wrightey told me to cheer up and he’d give me something extra. Then he reached into his bag and pulled out a photo of him as a 6 or 8 year old in a schoolboy’s outfit complete with socks pulled up almost to his knees. He looked so adorable. I had an urge to pinch his cheeks, but thankfully managed to curb it. Really, it’s no wonder I’m obsessed with him. Me hanging onto Wrightey like a ferret. Wrightey wondering what he’s getting into. Notice the front bit of my earring in his mouth. Is he still wearing it today I wonder? Or has he given it to some other mad fan? And now that he’s here again, I’m trying to get to meet him again. Poor guy. Thought he was rid of me. But I have no idea how I’m gonna get to him. There’re a couple of contests on now with lunch with him as prizes, but it’s like a million to one I’ll actually win one. So I’ve hatched a plan. I’ll rope in a couple of Wrightey-mad friends, and we’ll stake out the hotel the lunch is gonna be held in. Then on the day of the lunch itself, we’ll grab some waiters/waitresses, conk ‘em on their heads, and steal their garb. In disguise, we’ll skulk around the lunch area, and when the opportunity arises, we’ll grab Wrightey and run like mad. Then we’ll have our evil ways with him! *Cue take-over-the-world laughter* Mmm…can’t wait till he gets here. 6 Comments.
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