Whenever someone tells me that (s)he's going away on vacation, I like to ask to be smuggled along in a suitcase (unless it's to Hong Kong). But it's always only been a half-serious request, since I naturally assumed that to fit in a suitcase, some breaking of bones would be required, and I balk at anything more than three toes or fingers.

Well, not anymore.

For this afternoon, wanting a break from the stress of our ongoing final exams, Jason suggested that I climb into his brand spanking new suitcase. Just for kicks. And by climbing in, he meant curling up in it while he zipped it up. You'd think that after being locked into a car boot, and only let out in the middle of a crowded Bangsar street after multiple bruises and speed humps, this would be a definite no-brainer. Yet strangely enough (probably due to exam stress), I gamely squished myself, fetus-like, into the 30" case. Sort of like how you'd expect to find a corpse hidden in a trunk...only giggling more. And strangely enough (also probably due to exam stress) he unzipped me again (the suitcase, you deviants!) right after. So apart from learning that Jason isn't as diabolical as once thought, I also discovered that I can actually fit intactly, and somewhat comfortably, in a suitcase!

I really don't see how people can refuse to take me along on vacation now. Apart from having an excuse to bring an extra suitcase over to carry holiday shopping home (alright, I'll hitch a ride in someone else's luggage for the return trip), there are so many benefits to adding me to your suitcase:

Worried that that dinky padlock won't stop a dastardly drug smuggler from sneaking illegal substances into your attractive-looking suitcase? No need to when you've got me waiting with a boltcutter to lop off mischevious fingers!

Don't want to be caught with the drugs you're smuggling? You won't! Not when I've got easy access to everyone else's bags in the hold. I'll even mark the "dirty" bag for easy retrieval after customs.

Afraid that hijackers may take control of your plane and force you to land in Hong Kong? Well, they won't be able to fight off the unexpected rebellion led by the surprise passenger whom they were unaware of!

Pissed off cuz your travelmate overpacked your shared suitcase and now there's no space for holiday shopping (every little bit counts!)? I'll repack it more sensibly (i.e. all his/her stuff in the cobwebbed corners of the hold), leaving more than enough space for that lovely new pair of shoes that won't fit even in the previously-James-containing-but-newly-stuffed-with-holiday-spoils suitcase.

Really, I could go on and on cuz there's no end to how useful I could be in your suitcase. So won't you take me along on your next trip abroad?*

* Priority given to New Zealand-bound suitcases.

Categories: My Awesomeness [t]

I can think of a lot other things you can be useful for... mmm.
» Beer Brat (198.16.9.11) on 2005-12-05 08:01:49

I can think of a lot other things you can be useful for... mmm.
» Beer Brat (198.16.9.11) on 2005-12-05 08:14:21

You do know that it's very, very cold in the cargo hold when you're 30,000ft in the air, don't you?
» Jay (82.69.108.126) on 2005-12-06 02:42:30

so you blog about this!? hahahha so did i !!! wanna come over and do it all over again !? i'm sure it's gonna be not so fun this time.. since I're review my behaviour and me not leaving you in the baggy for more than 10 minutes was so not me... the next time something like this comes along i'm sure i'll leave you in there for more than 10 minutes.. =)
» jase (211.24.253.151) on 2005-12-06 05:14:12

I wanna be there the next time!!!!
» Min (210.187.2.114) on 2005-12-06 07:26:53

Sealed up in a suitcase? I am disturbed :) Paul
» Paul (219.95.228.16) on 2005-12-06 08:30:09

Beer Brat: You'll have to bring me along somewhere first!

Jay: Hmmm...that might pose a bit of a problem. Where do they put pets then? Y'know, the little dogs in their little portable carriers.

Jase: What am I, a performing monkey?!!
How's Friday?

Min: We could put you in one...might need a bit of err, strategic injury though.

Paul: Apparently, so am I.

Kinkmaster: Hmm...abuse and pyromania. Tell me, did you ever go through a bed-wetting phase as a child?
» theZEBRA on 2005-12-06 08:34:55

hahhahaa.. friday is good. but you should know that after you get zipped in you would probably have to zipped up for god knowns how long in there.. and for mindy.. cannot la.. she's too fat..
» jase (211.24.253.151) on 2005-12-07 06:56:02

Jase: Let's see if you can wheel me around the apartment!
» theZEBRA on 2005-12-07 08:28:26

please la! i wouldn't want to have to buy a newe baggie kay! you buy yours and bring it over, i'll put you in and wheel you around in your bag!
» jase (211.24.253.151) on 2005-12-08 04:02:34

Excuse, I have removed this idea :)
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