As the selfless person that I am – one who gives to the community, who thinks nothing of starving herself so that the hungry would have something to eat, who would gladly flay herself and offer you her skin if you needed something to bind your books with – I jumped at the chance to join a volunteer project in the country over the weekend.

According to the brochure, we would be repainting resident gnomes at Gnomesville(!), and assisting with repairs at the fire station as well as helping to develop a path to it. I wasn’t too excited about the gnomes, but the fire station… Fire trucks! Fire station pole! FIREMEN IN FIREFIGHTER UNIFORMS!

Alas, I found out too late that firemen in firefighter uniforms sliding down fire station poles and riding around in big, red fire trucks are found only in the city. In the country, it’s community volunteers in civvies drinking cups of tea in a little fire shed.

Fooled.

No matter. The lack of firemen in firefighter uniforms was made up for with an abundance of food. Glorious food, hobbit-style! Bang up breakfast! Elevensies! Lunch! Afternoon tea! Dinner! And I stuffed myself silly at every meal – the townspeople urging us to “Eat more! Eat more!”, and me crying “I can’t! I can’t!” while shovelling tart after tart into my mouth.

And the GNOMES! Hundreds of them tucked away in a little gnome village! Gnomes with axes, gnomes with guns, gnomes climbing a mini Mt. Everest, rude gnomes, dancing gnomes, RAAFA gnomes, Obi Wan Kegnomey, Astrognome, and Metrognome. And like a true tourist, I was absolutely delighted! I oohed and aahed over every gnome and took countless cheesy gnome pictures. It was lucky that there wasn’t a Gnome Souvenir Shop around or I would have gone home with a gnome pointy hat and a gnome decorative axe.

Other bits I picked up over the weekend:

• Wellington Mill cows are pets, not food.
  
• Residents of Wellington Mill are either under 14 or over 40.
  
• Gardening isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
  
• Pillow fights are all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just fun.
  
• A Skimpy is exactly what it sounds like.

________________________________________________________________


Gunther wasn't a fan of tourists

Categories: Perth [t]

sorry abt the lack of hot firemen. now who's gonna light your fire, huh? =) i love gnomes!!! where's metrognome, though? he was missing from his stand. i used to have this collection of the gnome encyclopedias. sigh...i miss being 6.
» Qian (149.135.50.131) on 2006-10-11 06:14:34

omg. i am an idiot. of course it's not a gnome!!! damn.
» Qian (149.135.50.131) on 2006-10-11 06:16:35

wow, that's surreal. You should wait till night time and watch the gnomes come to life and practice their sick, twisted, macabre rituals.
» dave on 2006-10-12 02:06:43

Qian: Haha, good catch!

dave:: I've watched enough horror movies to know NOT to do that.
» theZEBRA on 2006-10-13 03:31:01

wow,gnomes that moon! but what are RAAFA gnomes?
» bUttsH4k3r (87.102.2.242) on 2006-10-13 01:14:38

Damn. I got fooled too! I was hoping for some humpy firemen playing with their hoses.
» Paul (219.95.16.171) on 2006-10-15 08:32:48

Felch! :D
» Damian (218.214.162.38) on 2006-10-15 10:34:02

bUttsH4k3r: Royal Australian Air Force...Association?

Paul: No one was more disappointed than me.

Damian: Not tonight, dear.
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