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Ogden Nash
Death of a Bunny Named Bunny
Thursday. 11.28.02 3:04 am
A bunny died today. He was a good bunny. He was a loved bunny. He was a smelly bunny.

The lack of entertainment during lessons made the classroom about as fun as eating peas. So it was of a general opinion that a class pet was needed.

Enter two bunnies named Bunny and Bunny.

Bunny and Bunny were happy bunnies. They ate together, they played together, they slept together (no, not in that way). They nibbled shoelaces together, they dashed laps round the classroom together, they pissed teachers off together, they…well, pissed together. A lot.

But all that changed when Bunny died. It was a sudden death, which shocked everyone including Bunny and Bunny. One minute he was jackrabbiting around, the next he was as stiff as a mouldy block of old cheese. And as smelly.

Bunny’s sobbing classmates put him into a shoebox and laid him to rest behind the sandy long jump pit – where hundreds of students unwittingly pay homage to him annually.

That left Bunny heartbroken and lonely. His brother and only playmate was gone. He tried to find a substitute in his well-meaning classmates, but they just couldn’t fill Bunny’s paws. They couldn’t dash as fast, jump as high, or nibble as many shoelaces. No, they just wouldn’t do. He tried to find strength in his tiny bunny heart to go on, but it proved too much for him.

So he jumped.

But jumping up and down just tired him out. It didn’t dull the pain.

So he jumped again. Out a sixth storey window. And whiffled his nose all the way down.

But miracle of miracles, he survived. Without even a scratch. Maybe he wasn’t meant to die after all. Maybe the Bunny Bigwig in the Sky was sending him a sign. Maybe he was meant to go on with life and fight for the rights of bunnies all over the world. Maybe…just maybe, Bunny was still with him and protecting him.

Bunny clambered to his furry feet a new bunny. Renewed with hope. With promise. With life. He would make it through. He would make Bunny proud of him. He started to hop across the road to a distant land where he could start anew.

And was promptly mowed down by a red Volkswagen with a ‘Save the Animals’ sticker on the back.

I knew that bunny. My shoelace knew that bunny. So this is to remember a bunny who was true, who was good, who hated cucumber. This is to tell you that although it seems terribly difficult, I will pick myself up and go on with life. A lonely life. But LIFE nevertheless. Bunny knew that. And up in Bunny Heaven, two bunnies named Bunny and Bunny grinned and whiffled their noses.

Note: In memory of Bunny and Bunny and to help support the cause they fought for, please mail donations to :

‘Say No to Rabbit’s Feet’,
Big Bunny Knows Inc.,
P.O. Box 101-1880,
Selangor, Malaysia.

For more information, please contact Fluffy at fluffy.diddums@bigbunny.com.



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